The Ten Commandments According to Your Cat
Hopes 'n More Family
1. Thou shalt have no other pets before me. And I mean it.
2. Thou shalt acknowledge that everything thou owns is mine.
3. Thou shalt keep my gender differentials intact!
4. Thou shalt provide me with a scratching post, lest I shred everything in sight.
5. Thou shalt clean out my cat box, lest I whiz on your pillow.
6. Thou shalt never refer to me as cute . . . majestic, imposing, regal, but never cute.
7. Thou shalt not get mad when I sit on thy keyboard when typing, newspaper when reading, or face when sleeping. (Refer to second commandment.)
8. Thou shalt not bare false witness against me when thy goldfish disappear. (But always keep fishbowl fully supplied.)
9. Thou shalt only pick me up with permission . . . which is never.
10. Thou shalt remember that above behavior and rules are affected by my whims and can change at any time, and that thou art blessed by my presence. (But I also love you and am worth every commandment!)
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